news.com.au and 7-Eleven have joined forces to celebrate everyone’s favourite morning pick up; coffee!
Stop over-complicating your life, starting with your morning coffee order.
Last year, I walked into a 7-Eleven to pay for the $40 of petrol I had just fed my car. While I was there, I decided to try a cup of their freshly ground coffee. When George the cashier announced my total would be $41, I pointed to my flat white, reminding him of the other item I was purchasing that he’d obviously forgotten to ring up. I think we all know where this story is going. Let’s just say that George’s memory was impeccable, and I had found my new local coffee spot.
While we’re strolling down memory lane, let me share another profound lesson from my younger years. When I was nine years old, I walked into the small, family-run supermarket across the road from my primary school and threw down a whopping $5.50 for a family-sized Sara Lee pound cake.
It was, at the time, the greatest gesture of luxury and opulence that I had ever made, and I will never forget how it made me feel. Like Bill Gates admiring his Porsche collection on a balmy Sunday afternoon, to be precise. As such, I would never dare deny you or anyone else the opportunity to bust out your fancy pants and spend like your accountant isn’t watching. But your morning coffee just isn’t the time to do it.
First, it’s simple economics. Like I just mentioned, Bill Gates and I are similar in a lot of ways. We both like to spend our hard-earned money on things we enjoy. And, though I don’t want to speak for Bill personally, I’m betting he doesn’t like to spend his cash unnecessarily, be it on a cappuccino or a Porsche 911 Turbo. 7-Eleven’s freshly ground coffee is $1, but it doesn’t taste like it. It tastes like the $4.50 concoction you just waited 20 minutes to order at your local understaffed and overpriced cafe. The beans are fresh, the milk is frothy, and the only difference is you didn’t have to take out a second mortgage to afford your morning caffeine hit.
Crunched numbers aside, it’s also really good coffee, and you can order it however you like it. Short black, long black, latte, flat white, cappuccino—they’re all literally at your fingertips.
Wait, do I mean the barista is a machine with buttons? I can hear your shrill gasp through the screen. But really, your scepticism is a little misplaced here. It’s 2018, and we’re about to allow our cars to drive us to our dinner reservations. Pretty sure we can entertain a robot barista at this point. Also, not to get all Negative Nancy on the human race, but we do kind of have an alarming history when it comes to making mistakes. But a machine rules out any room for error when it comes to the art of making coffee — no burnt milk, no poorly extracted 30ml shot and no stale beans. Just a consistent, good quality cuppa every morning.
Finally, there’s your dignity. See it? It’s in pieces, on the floor of that coffee shop you thought was cool because the staff all wore bolo ties, but like, ironically, and half its roof and plumbing system was exposed but like, on purpose, not because it’s mid-demo. Pull yourself together. No one with functioning tastebuds enjoys extra hot no foam soy mochas, and if they say they do, they’re lying. That’s why convenience store coffee doesn’t even entertain such lunacy. Your coffee should taste like coffee. It should be served straight up, without syrups or sweeteners or chilled almond milk, and in a timely manner, no bolo ties, please.
Since that fateful morning last year when I discovered 7-Eleven coffee, I’ve noticed I’m not alone in my passion. People are starting to catch on. People talk in hushed tones about the surprising deliciousness of convenience store java. And here’s another thing — accessibility. 7-Elevens are everywhere, and they are open earlier and later than anywhere else serving coffee. And though I have never entertained the idea of drinking coffee at 10pm, I salute those who do. But truly, I mean it when I say people are catching on. They are doing the maths, tasting the brew, and saving time and money, just like my friend Bill and I. Join us. You only need $1.
Taste what everyone is talking about and switch to 7-Eleven Coffee. Made with freshly ground beans and just how you like it, for only $1, it could be the best coffee you’ve never tried.
Leave a ReplyWant to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!